Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
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