she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
