I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
