I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
