I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
