I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
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