We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
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I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
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Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
We are all done wearing pants today
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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