"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
