Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
