is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize