just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
