piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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