i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
