it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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