when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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