she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
