i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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