he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
