just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
