She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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