of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
