I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
