i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
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