I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
