I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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