can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
