"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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