I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
i believe in u and ur pee
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize