I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
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