1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
cat food counts as protein by the way
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
