Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
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He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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