Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
