I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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