do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
