Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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