Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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