can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
