I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
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