I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize