Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
