At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
