Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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