Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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