Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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