I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
