Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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