During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize