Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
