Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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