So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Pants are for mortals
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
