Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.