"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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