Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
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Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
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You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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