Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need moral support for this bender
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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