Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I'm really busy with my period
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