But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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