Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i think my mom watched the whole time
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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