she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
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just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
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Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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