her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.