I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
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I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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