I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy