Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face http://tfl.nu/zdhw
  Replies (52) Good night (8561) Bad night (1187) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Obama is so hot when he ends wars.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): Obama is so hot when he ends wars. http://tfl.nu/7ljv
  Replies (187) Good night (9165) Bad night (7088) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors.... http://tfl.nu/43xp
  Replies (4) Good night (3390) Bad night (1781) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse. http://tfl.nu/a75v
  Replies (8) Good night (2703) Bad night (1271) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/x6ut
  Replies (26) Good night (1209) Bad night (3920) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (979): She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today. http://tfl.nu/i2c6
  Replies (8) Good night (738) Bad night (5140) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (239): Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox. http://tfl.nu/ld2z
  Replies (2) Good night (2405) Bad night (577) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  Im just a social blackout drinker.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (254): Im just a social blackout drinker. http://tfl.nu/yfwk
  Replies (6) Good night (2953) Bad night (1095) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me http://tfl.nu/zsgz
  Replies (2) Good night (1001) Bad night (1727) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses http://tfl.nu/2wtf
  Replies (6) Good night (2255) Bad night (710) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!" http://tfl.nu/hrv9
  Replies (6) Good night (1994) Bad night (651)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye. http://tfl.nu/tv9w
  Replies (7) Good night (617) Bad night (1238) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams. 

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.  http://tfl.nu/pssg
  Replies (4) Good night (884) Bad night (425) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat. http://tfl.nu/hgzf
  Replies (5) Good night (348) Bad night (690) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it http://tfl.nu/n5kq
  Replies (10) Good night (1509) Bad night (239) Order T-Shirt

Randomize